What does a tree do all day? Boredom

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How do you know if a monster is hiding under your bed or in your closet? Go and look.

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This desk is two chromebooks wide. It will be one once I push yours off.

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What do you call a young fortune teller who just escaped from jail? A small medium at large.

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How do you fit 90 Jews in a Volkswagen Bug? You can't.

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Nero, what if you are using me now? Manipulating me? You think I enjoy falling in love after chatting with you in a site which is not even meant for chatting? You can do that, you are a "facilitator", I don't care as much for point zero, as I do care about you, hell, if things where different, id quit the whole thing to stay with you! I could say I will never forgive you if you make me feel safe by your side, accept your help only to get stabbed in the back for trusting you.

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A man comes home from the office, walks inside and hangs up his coat and hat at the door. He walks into the kitchen to find his wife has not made dinner instead she is drinking with friends, she tells him that she would have made dinner but she didnt want to. Furious, the man storms to the door, grabs his coat and leaves... He gets in his car and drives down to the pub. Sitting there drinking his beer, trying to calm down he finds a peice of paper tucked into his coat pocket, he unfolds it and reads it. It turns out to be a memo he wrote to remind himself at work that day.

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Roses are red. So is bacon, Poetry is hard . bacon.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Today is your birthday So happy birthday

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Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

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Two ducks are sitting in the bathtub. One asks, "Hey, can you please pass the soap?" The other responds, "Sure, if you pass the typewriter."

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but there is a road to the super market

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The man who ran behind the bus got exhausted. The man who ran in front of the bus got tired. The first one survived.

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What's worse than finding gum stuck on the bottom of your desk? A clown following you around carrying a shotgun and throwing toothbrushes at you.

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What is the best thing about having sex with twenty-seven year old's? There's twenty of them

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the awkward moment when Rick Astley gives you up

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As a wise man once told me... "natives."

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Why did polly fall of her swing ??? She had no arms

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What do you call a black Arnold Schwarzenegger? Arnold Schwarzenegger.

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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"hey those pancakes look pretty good." "thats a cat steve."

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they have an in depth understanding of astrophysics and interstellar travel.

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Why did the black man walk into KFC? He was terribly hungry and had a reasonable amount of currency with him to purchase food for his well being.

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A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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