You throw nothing like your mother; she is actually really good at throwing.

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You mamma's so fat that even Dora can't explore her!

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Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

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what's magenta and has 7 legs? nothing.

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Do you know what paper I get?.... Loose leaf :o

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What is green and has wheels? Grass, i was lying about the wheels

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A: Knock knock B: Who is it? A: You'r wife. B: My wife? A: Yes! B: Ok, then i think i pass that question.

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Your muffins smell good! Oh you is just nasty.

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Whats worse than one pregnancy scare... two pregnancy scares...whats worse than two pregnancy scares? being forced to having consensual sex with a grizzly bear.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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your matriarchal component is so overweight that her body mass index is over the desired level for her height and age

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ur mother

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Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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What did the peanut butter say to the jelly?

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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A black guy and a Mexican were in a car. Who was Driving? The police

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what do a dog and tree have in common? nobody cares when they die

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What happened at the finish line of the marathon? People collapsed in exhaustion, it was a marathon.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

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throbbing slobber

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Why did Jake have a bad spring break? Because he got hit by a car and died

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Why did the man go to Chinatown? Because he was hungry.

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How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

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A man witnessed a car crash. He was traumatized

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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