Relax, and I do not mean as in hypnotic "relax as you do not not... Okay I used it again I am just joking" Nice, so are they like pretty doubles or not?

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Why is one side of a geese formation heading south always longer than the other? It has more geese

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind.

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What do you call a cow with big horns? A bull.

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Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

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what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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A man powers up his computer but then realizes he's in China.

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That's as _____ as a ______ guy. Works with anything, and people do laugh.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream on the floor? Getting the end of your penis stapled

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If you can dodge a traffic, that probably has little or no relation to how well you can dodge a ball.

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Why did the lion get lost? -The jungle is massive

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Hey, your mom left something at my house. It is pink and lasy. It is her new hat and i think she will want it back.

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? One is a popular Italian food and the other is a human being.

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what do you call a black guy in a cop car a cop

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What's better than nailing a baby into the wall? Football.

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What did the man say to his wife before they went to bed? Goodnight.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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Q. What's black and white and red all over? A. Certainly not a newspaper. Nobody reads those anymore.

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A Rabbi, A Priest and an Imam walk into a bar. The Imam doesn't order a drink because it is strictly against his religious beliefs.

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What happens when you eat too many breadsticks? You get constipated.

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How did the jew reply to the racist comment? Judaism is not a race, it's a religion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops