A tree walks into a bar. But it is a dead tree so it actually didn't

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Why does Michael Jackson like K-mart? He does not; he is dead.

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Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative

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Knock Knock Come In! Who me? Yeah. Ok.

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A man walks into a bar, he drinks, then leaves the bar.

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What did one guy say to the other guy?? Well he just hi but hi backwards is ih and that reminded him of his days in Nahm because that's what his Sargent said and that reminded him of ice-cream because his Sargent smelled like ice-cream and that reminded him of the song that the ice-cream played which reminded him of Disney world which reminded him of a priest raping little boys which mad him laugh because that reminded him of a Jew picking up a penny which reminded him of Osama be shot in the f**k**g face and that reminded him to say how are you to the other guy.

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If a midget is mentally retarded and always late for work, is it okay to call him a little tardy?

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OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the boy miss a day off school? He was in a coma

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

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do you know a really good joke? i don't have one.

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A man hanged himself, leaving a note. Nobody found him, nor the note. Nobody cared for him.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

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If you have alzeimers, wait, never mind i forget.

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Your momma is so fat that she has really high cholesterol but also an undoubtedly warm personality.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Gloves.

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A lady goes into the store to buy potatoes. Then she eats them.

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What did the terrorist have for breakfast? Scrambled eggs and a glass of orange juice.

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When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, Chuck Norris doesn't turn into a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris

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Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

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Why did the White guy wanna be Black? He liked basketball.

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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Q:What happened to the leprechaun when it jumped in the water? A:It got wet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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