Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Google Doodles

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Dallas Cowboys

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding half a worm and wondering where the other half is. o.O

thumb_up thumb_down +4

your momma's an antijoke

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man was walking outside at night and he heard thunder and saw lighting so he took out a metal pole.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why is winter the best season? A: It eliminates the homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down

What does a good joke get for Christmas? no laughs.

thumb_up thumb_down

Working hard or hardly working????

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats Funnier than 24?........ 25

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats worse than your camera not working? getting hit by a fridge during the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was asalted

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock, knock. Who's there? No one. You have no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is x (4 - 10) + 6879 (333) x 678912345 - 9.87537 when x equals pi? Answer: YOUR FACE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the boy and girl do at the wedding? 69:)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

It is cruel to want a "sky full of lighters" as, according to the Laws of Gravity, the lighters will eventually come back down to earth and incinerate everything below them.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A father gives some golf balls to his son on his son's birthday. The son then goes into the woods with the golf balls, and then comes out without the golf balls. "What did you do with the golf balls?" asks the father. The son says nothing. On Christmas the father gives his son more golf balls, and the son does the same thing. He goes into the woods with them, and leaves without them. Again the father asks what he did with the golf balls, and the son says nothing. This happens for many holidays to come, until the son gets hit by a bus. In the ambulence, the father asks; "One last question ,what did you do with the golf balls?" The son dies

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the man with no arms and legs fall out of the tree? Gravity.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Dear John,

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the Jew ask for a napkin? something funny about the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the homeless guy do when he saw a bucket? He peed in it

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops