what do a snake and a bird have in common? they can both fly! except for the snake.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did little Robbie get for Christmas? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer .

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many jews died in a gas chamber? None because the holocaust is a myth.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What happened when Timmy divided by zero? A: He got a syntax error.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Lets make like trees and stand still

thumb_up thumb_down +1

name-Sally-Sue What I am good at in school: readin' annnd...math. What I need to work on in school: spelin

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock, knock. Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

your mom is so gay that...wrong, a homosexual women is considered a lesbian.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

This one time, at band camp we played in a band

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the blind, def , dumb kid get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Listen I know you're a cat and I'm a cat but I know we can be friends

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Mommy, where do babies come from? In biology, sex is a process of combining and mixing genetic traits, often resulting in the specialization of organisms into a male or female variety (each known as a sex). Sexual reproduction involves combining specialized cells (gametes) to form offspring that inherit traits from both parents. Gametes can be identical in form and function (known as isogametes), but in many cases an asymmetry has evolved such that two sex-specific types of gametes (heterogametes) exist: male gametes are small, motile, and optimized to transport their genetic information over a distance, while female gametes are large, non-motile and contain the nutrients necessary for the early development of the young organism. An organism's sex is defined by the gametes it produces: males produce male gametes (spermatozoa, or sperm) while females produce female gametes (ova, or egg cells); individual organisms which produce both male and female gametes are termed hermaphroditic. Frequently, physical differences are associated with the different sexes of an organism; these sexual dimorphisms can reflect the different reproductive pressures the sexes experience. Thanks mommy

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call two guys hanging by your window? Kurt and Rod

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what is brown and rhymes with snoop? dr dre

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the gorilla leave the zoo? He didn't, he was released.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Want to hear an anti-joke?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

milly, milly, milly, cat

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man is walking down the street when a woman asks "excuse me, have you got the time?" to which the man replies "Yes..yes i do" the woman thanks him, and continues with her time constricted shannigans.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why didn't Dave buy his wife a watch for her birthday? Because she already had one.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops