3 blonds walk into a bar ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +14

9/11/01 walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did johnny fall down? He got hit in the head with a brick

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the bunny eat his food

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happened to the man that never got picked up? He died of a brain aneurysm, the ambulance never came.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the man say when he dropped an apple on his foot? That might have caused some minor discomfort had I not been wearing shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why did the child go to school? Because he wants to succeed in life

thumb_up thumb_down +12

that awkward moment when you get in the van and there are no sweets...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

You know what helps with sholder pain? If you lick my butthole.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how to you kill an Irish midget? You don't as murder is illegal and discriminating against a certain type of person is racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock. Use the doorbell, dumbass.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why is it nice to wear jeans? So people don't see your undies.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A rebellious teenage boy throws a dozen eggs on the street, now he has no eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the hooker go to the bathroom? Because she just exchanged sex for money and was cleaning herself up for her next trick.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why wasn't Pat able to get an erection? Because Pat is a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a homosexual with no legs or arms. Jerry

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Rebecca Black sings a song.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do Chuck Norris and Oprah Winfrey have in common? They are both white, male, good actors, white, rich, and white. Except for the eagle.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A preposition is a bad thing to end a sentence with.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Guess what? Chicken butt? Poultry gluteus maximus!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the goat say to the dolphin dogs don't lay eggs

thumb_up thumb_down

Bing

thumb_up thumb_down

Your mom is so old, -just kidding. I know she died at a young age.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops