It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

What is the difference between a baby and a tampoline? You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

Why was the black man screaming? The KKK was coming to lynch him.

What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducked.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip on the branch and was unable to reach another before reaching the ground.

Your life That's the joke

why did helen keller fall down the stairs A; i pushed her

What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

Wanna hear a funny story? Sure Ok.

Whats blue, sticky and glows only during the morning? IDK -Lets go Mets

What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

Why are Jews so tight with there money? They want to be finanically stable and provide a future for their familys.

-What do you get when you graph the division of x by the square root of 69? - I don't know, what? -I was asking you, as my family's low economic status hinders my ability to buy a graphing calculator.

Q:A man has 100 chocolate bars he eats 93 of them. What has he got now? A:Diabetes

Why did the kids stop playing tag? Because the boy was "it" was kidnapped and never seen again

What do you get when you cross a horse and a pony? A mule

What is the difference between Terri Schaivo and a basket of rotting vegetables? The rotting vegetables aren't edible.

Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

A man about to get on a plane forgets to store his utility knife in his bag before the security scan. He is taken to a back room for private questioning and fined.

why did the kangaroo jump? because its a kangaroo

Q: What's black and blue and red all over? A: I'm not sure. If it's red all over, it's not going to be black or blue.

Dead babies.

What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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