How do you estimate the number of jippos in an area? Take the dole's numbers from that area and measure how far away they are from the nearest council landfill site.

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"hey those pancakes look pretty good." "thats a cat steve."

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Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised how far a can can preach in Chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he entered with a swine, and the muslim is embarrased for the horse.

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What do clowns put on bagels? Cream Cheese

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Me: Knock Knock, Pornstar: Cum in.

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What do you get when you cross an African-American, a bird, and ice cream? I don't know.

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Is your refrigerator running? Because your dad just hung himself

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how many jews can you fit in a honda civic 1 in the driver seat, 1 in the passenger seat and 3 in the back properly fixed with safety belts.

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How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

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a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

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Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

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husband; do you come here often wife: i live here

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Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

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Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

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two boys break out in a verbal fight. the first boy says your so stupid youd sell a cow for a gallon of milk. the second boy replied, i agree with you 110%.

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Why did Rose throw the clock out the window? Because she's a moron.

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If you can dodge a traffic, that probably has little or no relation to how well you can dodge a ball.

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Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

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How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

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What does a Mexican do in a landslide? Lose a good deal of his hard earned property to the disaster.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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