what's hard and pink going in a soft and wet coming out Gum

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What did the little boy find when he came home from school? His mother hanging from a tree.

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Hey! did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she...

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Why does my girlfriend pee standing up? Because he is a man.

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Why is Joe white? Because he's white.

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Jessica walks into a bar jokes jessica cant walk

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A man and a woman are in bed together and really want to do something, what is that something? Sleep.

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You are the third derivative of the position function.

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Whats worse then reading the same joke over and over again? Getting mutilated by a cupcake.

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What happens if you throw a red ruby into the black sea? It gets wet.

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Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

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Why did the man stay in the basement? Because he was addicted to pornography and it was tearing his family apart. Eventually he was unable to tell the diffidence between fantasy and reality and sexually assaulted his 13 year old niece.

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Real jokes.

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There's a American, Mexican, and a Canadian stranded in the desert. They couldn't find any food, water, and shelter. They were all really hungry and thirsty. Later that day the Mexican dies from a very bad infection on his neck.

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Why did the passenger plane crash? Well, if not mechanical failure or human error, probably because a bomb was detonated onboard.

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Women rights.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

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Why were the sea hawks fans mad at the Super Bowl? Because why would you throw the ball if you have one yard to go

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Your momma's so fat: She has found a value in relationships beyond an aesthetic level.

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I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

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Why is the world round? Because oranges are purple.

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What's worse than 9 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 9 trees.

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What happened when the princess kissed the frog? She died, the frog was highly toxic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops