What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter? Whatever his name is?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was Brother Jim so loyal to god? Because he had a harpoon through his anal cavity.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

i wish i was a tree !

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call an anti joke website? http://anti-joke.com

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Living through the Holocaust and finding a time machine to take you back to the beginning of it again.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did Susie fall off the song? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Two rabbits are being chased by dogs and hide in a log in the forest. The male pushes the female to the dogs which are at both sides of the log and gets off Scott free.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the mexican cross the road? to catch its bus on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was it so easy for Superman to pick up chics? His butt ox.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did Suzy drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Suzy!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why did the boy hug a very dislexic man it was his brother

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Roses are Red, violets are blue, I have STD, Now so do you. :3

thumb_up thumb_down -42

knock, knock no one answers man goes home and shots himself because he feels alone

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Roses are white Violets are white I did it in the garden

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Why was the blonde woman crying? -because she witnessed her infant get sucked into a jet engine and was very sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

I have read and agree to terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Jeff was a very hard working accountant, after a very long day he drove to burger king, he looked up at the menu and said to the lady. I'll have a burger please.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

A pornstar walks into a church, she has remained close to Christ despite her condescending career choice.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

So I walked upstairs and I told the guy, "No." And he then asks, "Why?"

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Q. How do you make an atheist appreciate life? A. Break his legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops