Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Everyone on board died.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Jeep? Four.

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What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

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Why was the orphan crying? His parents were dead and his future was uncertain.

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No entiendo PORQUE cada día amanezco

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

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whats better than shoes feet

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What is the black mans favorite color? -Time for you to get a watch

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Oliver's friends

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whats worse then getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by 2 giant scorpions!!!!!

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In Soviet Russia! People were much more finacially secure than they are now.

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Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

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A blond is stranded on a desert island when she finds a magic lamp. Except it's actually a rock and she is hallucinating due to dehydration and starvation.

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Q: Why happened to the dead whale? A: It was shot by Asian pochures.

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2 gingers went to a pumpkin patch... And nobody ever found them( life lesson, don't take your ginger to a pumpkin patch)

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Why did the kids stop playing tag? Because the boy was "it" was kidnapped and never seen again

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What is worse then Hitler? Shelly's Cooking.

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Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

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Knock Knock Who's There Ur Mom Ur Mom Who Ur Mom is Dead

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Gifted Education classes learning social studies curriculum.

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What did the mother give her family for christmas? Nothing. The family is Jewish.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To murder your whole family.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Let Me In. Let Me In Who? Let Me In or I Will Kill You Tomorrow!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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