knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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What in the world is that thing in her butt!!!

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What is worse than falling into a pit of needles? being lit on fire and then falling into a pit of needles I imagine

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What's a rabbit's favourite food? No-one knows, like humans, every rabbit has it's own favourite food.

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Q: What is Paul's nickname A: His name is Paul, he doesn't need a nickname

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What's silver and bad for your teeth? A wrench

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Why did the plane crash Because Joe diragi is so fat

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I AM DISSAPOINTED

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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What does a man like. food.

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How Many Friends Did The Ginger Kid Have? None.

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How can you tell if a duck is watching you? Look at its eyes

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the gay guy's house . Knock knock . Who's there? The chicken.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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A black man, a mexican man and a chinese man all walk into a supermarket. Together, they purchase ingredients to make a delicious vegetarian lasagna. That night, they make the lasagna and greatly enjoy it together.

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Your hat is not on you head. Where is it On you head

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Dear John,

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¿Por qué seis de los siete miedo? ¡Porque siete ocho nueve!

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Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot. What are you, racist?

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What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No...........

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What do you think about whats happening in the middle east right now? You're an idiot.

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Eliza eh? Of you I do not know but at least you used the correct code yourself, I suppose Nero7 kept your existence hidden from most of us for a reason. This "point Zero" is no more, about time people got out of the fucking north pole anyways, he was buried there, as his identity and existence is better off kept secret from the outside world for reasons many, none the less because if he is found and identified, undesired company might track whatever loose threads he might have left, straight back to us and we are not exactly operating within the parameters of... Legality anymore. Listen, if you want to know more give me the code straight out (I could not care less about deciphering shit right now and we are leaving horseshit network anyways) And I will tell you what Major6 knows, because as far as the screams roaming these halls can tell, he is still alive, you just better be fast, my men and women are not exactly experts at keeping these people alive... Yet, but enough idle chitchat. If you are who you claim to be, you should have the code I need, bring it, and I will present you with the neccesary information... ...Fail to do so, and I suggest that you never address any of us again fair lady, while we can simply not be tracked down, the security here is... Do I need to say? Neo-Nero.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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