Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! It's not the coffee, you have a deadly case of ocular melanoma, a form of cancer that affects the eye. You'll be blind within the next 24 hours.

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Why are we posting shit jokes on here? Because we can't drink!

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Q. How do you make a blonde sad? A. Tell her that her entire family died in an accident.

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A black man, an Asian, a Jew, and an American all jump off a building. Unfortunately, they all died on impact and their families will mourn for years to come.

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what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped and left to die in the snow.

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Knock knock. Use the doorbell, dumbass.

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What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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How do you know if you've been drinking too much? You find yourself in a closet screaming, "I'm in Narnia!!!"

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing chair ? Gravity.

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beiber i straight

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Why did Willy kill the black man? Because not.

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Why did the boy bump into a pole. He was sleep-walking with his eyes closed.

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What did little Robbie get for Christmas? AIDS

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What do you call a girl with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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What is 6 plus 9? 15

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What happened when the boy didn't forward the chain message to ten people. Nothing.

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What do Chuck Norris and Oprah Winfrey have in common? They are both white, male, good actors, white, rich, and white. Except for the eagle.

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bunge cord? My ass!

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What's the difference between people with aids and people with cancer? People with cancer can get into heaven

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How did the guy drown if he wasn't in water? A shark threw up on him

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How do you amuse a blonde? ? tell her to go to antijokes.com ( :

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what did one bum way to the other? we're shit out of luck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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