A homeless person dies.

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Whats the definition of helpless? A quadraplegic in a washing machine

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What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? One crawling out of the bottom licking its lips.

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why do black people like basketball? because it envolves running shooting and stealing

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What did the man say when he dropped an apple on his foot? That might have caused some minor discomfort had I not been wearing shoes.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

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a horse walks into a barn

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two muffins are in an oven one muffin says man its pretty hot in here and the other muffin says oh my god a talking muffin

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what do you call a cucumber that is wearing a dress.... an asian lady

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What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Finding a repeated joke about no armed susy falling off a swing.

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How do you know if you've been drinking too much? You find yourself in a closet screaming, "I'm in Narnia!!!"

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SAY

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which of the following is right -the yoke is white -the yoke are white neither the yoke is yellow

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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Why do Africans live in slums Because they have aids

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What do you call a woman who is good at driving? Danica Patrick

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A man walks into a pole and freezes to death.

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You better run like your ass is under fire, because it will be if you don't.

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What's the difference between a black man and a monkey? Millions of years of evolution

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What do you call a brunette between two blonds? Probably their friend. How should I know?

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Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Why couldn't the black man get home? His car broke down, and Goodyear was closed.

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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