What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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Knock Knock Why are you knocking? I have a doorbell.

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There are three men in a canoe traveling upstream. One wheel falls off. How many pancakes fit in a doghouse? 9, because ice-cream has no bones.

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If a midget is mentally retarded and always late for work, is it okay to call him a little tardy?

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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Three vampires were at a bar 1 & 2 were drinking and asked the 3rd why he wasn't. He replied, I'm full I found a used tampon on my way here.

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Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

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A blond is stranded on a desert island when she finds a magic lamp. Except it's actually a rock and she is hallucinating due to dehydration and starvation.

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Why Because

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Why did the mechanic sleep under a car? He had narcolepsy.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

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What's bigger than a whale and has no water? Africa.

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What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

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What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

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Binladen coming to a beach near you :D

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What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

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Two people walk into a bar, the third one ducked.

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whats red and looks like a bucket a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket a red bucket in diguise

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whats worse then getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by 2 giant scorpions!!!!!

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what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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why was six afraid of seven? cause seven raped and pillaged eight's family.

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How did the Pollack die? Cardiac arrest.

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nock nock " whos there" , "open the door and you will see

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What did Sally get for Christmas? Nothing, Sally is dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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