A man walks into a bar. He drinks then comes home to his whole family murderd and mutilated

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So heres a scenario. You and your twin brother are Siamese twins. You are straight and your brother is gay. Your bother has a friend come over. You only have one butt....

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hello.

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Nicholas Cage

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Why did sally fall off her swingset? Because she was hit with a refrigerator.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To hold their pants up.

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What is yellow and sleeps alone? Yoko Ono.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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What do you not want to get when playing scrabble? Diarrhea

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A homeless man stumbles upon $100 bill. It is actually just a food wrapper, his eyesight is lackluster.

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Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Orange!" "Oranges can't speak, who is this really?" "Your neighbor Jake, can I borrow your lawn mower?" "Sure, let me go to the garage and get it for you."

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What if Chuck Norris got shot by a bullet? The most interesting man in the world would save him.

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There was a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman. All three of three of them walked into a bar. They began a heated debate over the benefits of their healthcare plan, payed the tab on their drink, then proceeded to drive home in their Toyota Prius.

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How you make a duck cry? Raping it. How you make it shut up? Killing it. Why did no one helped the duck? Because the duck has no friends.

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How many Somalians can you fit in a Shopping trolley? Well rather unfortunately there is a lack of Shopping Centers in Somalia due to its corrupt government and its general poverty in comparison to a 1st world country, needless to mention the civil wars. I would guess 7 though.

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Do you want to hear a knock knock joke? (Yes) Okay, you start. (Knock knock). Who's there? ...

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whats the same about a turtle and another turtle? they both seem to like lettuce

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69

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How many Aodhan's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Aodhan's da has already screwed all the lightbulbs...

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

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What is the best thing about having sex with twenty-seven year old's? There's twenty of them

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Chocolate tastes good.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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