Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

An elephant walks into a bar. Except not really, it couldn't fit through the door.

An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

AROUND

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A Kinect

amy copied adams haircut :0

I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

So a Jew, a black guy, and a Mexican all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey guys, what would you like?" They all get beer.

3 black men walk into a bar. They order their drinks, tip the bartender, and could not have been more courteous.

Herman Cain

Why was the truck covered in blood? The chicken tried crossing the road

How do you know when a guy wants to have sex with you? When he rapes you

Mean while... at Jerry Sandusky's house

One day, Little Timmy asked his mother this question, "Mommy, why are boys and girls different?" She responded, "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead."

What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he was dead.

Slavery

Your mother gets so hungry, she eats.

What happened when a black man's phone went off? He answered it.

A black man, a Mexican, and a Jew walk into a bar. The white bartender kills them all because he was a huge racist.

How do you start up a good conversation? Wanna have a good conversation?

In Soviet Russia! People were much more finacially secure than they are now.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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