Lilys are from england violets from japan. I've got a knife now get in the van

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A: make me a sandwich woman! B: your a sandwich.

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A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

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What does Pontiac stand for - People Of Normal Thinking Intelligence Acting Classy

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What happened to the guy that stuck his finger up his asshole? It felt GOOOOOOODD

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One man said to another 'I think I'm going to have a chinese tonight.' the other replied 'it is wrong to eat people, even if they are chinese.'

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If Roger buys 109 candy bars and eats 65, what does he have? Diabetes.

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Did you see that van with the word "Free Candy" painted on it? I'm also glad to see a successful entrepreneur capable of advertising free wares as an incentive to attract customers in such a recession. It's a great deal for both parties.

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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Why doesn't stevie wonder play snooker? Because it's not very popular in the US.

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What's big, grey and can't swim? A castle

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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You're pretty... PRETTY UGLY

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Yo mama so poor... that she possesses substantially less money than the average person working hard in order to accumulate money today.

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why can't the black man get a job? The economy is suffering and unemployment rates are at an all time high

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Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

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your mamas so fat she falls out f both sides of the bed

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I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

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what is black, white, and red all over? A bloody panda

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what do you call the one eyed man in the land of the blind? You call him an outcast

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Me: Knock Knock, Pornstar: Cum in.

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Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

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Whats the difference between your mother and a mallard with a cold? There are far to many differences between humans and birds to consider for this question. A small list might include wings, feathers, and mating habits to name a few.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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