What's the only part of a vegetable that you can't eat??? His wheelchair

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Why did the man go to Chinatown? Because he was hungry.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

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What type of movies do pirates watch? None they are on a boat!

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have mental problems Doobah haga Blakatrabbit

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What's the worst thing about being homeless? Not having a home.

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

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"Oh yeah?!" "Yeah!" "You wanna go?!" "No, sorry. I got plans." (walks away)

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Whats long and hard? a pole

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why are elephants gray? to tell them apart from blueberries.

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What is the difference between a black guy and a bucket of crap? Well, one consists of two inanimate objects (a bucket and feces) and the other is a human being of African/African-American descent. As you can see there really is no real comparison here.

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Why do redheads have red hair Because they were born like that.

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Q: What is worse than loosing your arms? A: Dying

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell out of a tree? SHFVDHGCIJCBSHG

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A Kinect

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A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

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69

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Mean while... at Jerry Sandusky's house

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Why can't Hank swim? Hank is a rock

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If a midget is mentally retarded and always late for work, is it okay to call him a little tardy?

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What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

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A blond is stranded on a desert island when she finds a magic lamp. Except it's actually a rock and she is hallucinating due to dehydration and starvation.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender says, "Why the long face?" and the horse says, "I have cancer."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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