What do you call a man that likes fishsticks? His name

What did Helen Keller say when she fell out of a tree? SHFVDHGCIJCBSHG

A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

Whats better than a panda? A panda with an ice cream cone.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot turned into a loaf of bread.

A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

what's funnier than the holocaust? 2 holocausts and 9/11

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell down and bumped his head He suffered a serious concussion and was never the same again.

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What does AIDS stand for? Acquired immune deficiency syndrome

What do you call a dragon that doesn't breathe fire? A Griffin.

Why did Justin Bieber smile in his mug shot? He did not understand the consequences of his horrible actions that could have killed many innocent men, woman, or children and, in jail, there could be very dangerous people living there.

What did the sexually promiscuous man get for Christmas? AIDS.

A chicken walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll it be?" His friends are very concerned about his sanity.

What does a blonde's vagina taste like? The same as her brain, cabbage

How do you start up a good conversation? Wanna have a good conversation?

What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

Two parrots are in a cage. The one looks at the other one and says, "answer the phone," and the other one says, "where are my car keys."

Why Because

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive Cause she's a woman

What did Tommy's father tell him on Christmas? Nothing, he was violently stabbed to death on Christmas Eve.

Why does Michael J. Fox make a great milkshake? Because he's had a successful career where he has made a substantial amount of money, allowing him to purchase high quality ingredients.

Q; What smells like chicken, tastes like turkey and looks like duck? A; Nothing...dumbass.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he's dead

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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