A: make me a sandwich woman! B: your a sandwich.

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Knock, Knock. Who's There? To get to the other side.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man said to the bartender "I'll have a H2O, please." His friend said "Yeah, I'll have a H2O too." The bartended wasn't an idiot and was aware that he was in a bar, not a science lab, and handed them both a bottle of H2O. His friend still died.

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There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

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Two robots are walking down the street together and walk into a bar. Just kidding, they can't walk because they have Polio.

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I love you very much.

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Want to hear a joke? Sorry, you're looking at the wrong website.

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Q: What did the cop say to the deaf man? A: Nothing worth hearing about.

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A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Die bitch

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

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Q: How many vaginas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Just one.

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What's the difference between blacks and whites? The skin color

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Why couldn't the orphans go on the field trip? Their parents couldn't sign the permission slip.

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Why is the sky red in London? Fire.

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Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

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How do you make a chicken laugh. By showing it how to cross the road

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What's worse than seeing your goldfish die? Watching your grandfather have a stroke.

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Knock Knock Whos there Reality* Knock Knock *Opens Door*

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

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What's the difference between Jews, Muslims & Christians? Religious beliefs.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot turned into a loaf of bread.

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Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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