Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

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Q:Whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead baby? A:The dog has skidmarks in front of it -RDV

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when does the phrase "time heals all wounds" not apply? to people with fatal wounds.

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So there's this cup that I own... I use it to aid in the drinking of my hot or cold beverages.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a preacher walk into a bar. They ordered a water each.

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What is worse worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

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My mom.

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What do you call an asian man driving a plane? Nothing, you cannot drive a plane you can only fly it

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What did michael J. Fox say when someone asked him to play catch? "sorry, I'm busy".

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A Christian, a Jew, and a Hindu walked into a bar - guess what happened then? Well two of them are alcoholics so they wisely changed their minds and left, then the other one got bored so he left too.

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How did the man rob the bank? With a gun

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What's the difference between a zebra and a newspaper? Everything.

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Q. How do you make a blonde sad? A. Tell her that her entire family died in an accident.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hello.

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So one time this woman was learning...

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What happened to Alice? She fell down a big hole and broke her neck.

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Why couldn't the little boy find his friend in hide and go seek He was blind

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am man walks into a bar, and suffers from brain damage

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What do you call an Asian pilot? A pilot...

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How you make a duck cry? Raping it. How you make it shut up? Killing it. Why did no one helped the duck? Because the duck has no friends.

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what rhymes with sloth? rape

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A man walked into a bar, he spilled his drink.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, but he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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