What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

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Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

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Did you see Stevie wonders house? Neither did he.

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Why couldn't little Susie ride her bicycle? She had Cerebral Palsy.

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News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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two men where hunting one man shot a deer and ate it, the other man shot the man who killed the deer and made human steaks. a day later he killed his family. and ate them with his dog. he then grabbed the deer that was left in his fridge and used it to make a fire.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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If Jewish men light a menorah during Hanukkah, what do Jewish women light? Jewish women light a menorah as well; Judaism is a relatively fair religion to both sexes.

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autistic kids rock

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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A Jew, Muslim and Mexican all die of cancer

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Why did the girl throw the clock out of the window? The clock was broken, and it was the only valuable object in her possession.

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Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense, Refrigerator Sex

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

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You are as dumb as a dumb looking person.

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Q. Whats black and red all over? A. A black wall thats been painted red.

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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Roses are Blue Violets are red, I need to go the the bathroom

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How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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