Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A rhinoceros walks into a bar. As it felt threatened by the presence of many humans, the rhino attacks and kills several people with the big horn on its nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

The man said to his wife love hurts. the wife then progressed with punching in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

thumb_up thumb_down -6

TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats long, hairy, and has one eye? my cat fluffy, he has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down -6

If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the same about a clown and a knife? They are both fun, except for the clown. I hate clowns.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A. Did you hear about the circus fires? b. They were intense. (in tents)

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is the worst party ever? Nazi.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q:Wanna know a funny joke? A:Womens Rights

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock, knock Who's there? You... and you just lost the game. -Eka

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you drown a blonde? Weigh her down and throw her into a body of water.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There are 3 prisoners inside a cage. All the prisoners are blind folded and wearing hats. They are told there are 5 hats all together, 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. If one of them can answer what color hat they are wearing they are all set free. However, they have no idea what color hat they are wearing, only what color hat the other prisoners are wearing. They are also not allowed to tell what color the others are wearing. So the game begins: The first prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the first prisoner says "I don't know." The second prisoner takes off his blind fold. The guard says "What color hat are you wearing?" and the second prisoner says the same thing, "I don't know" Now the third prisoner didn't even need to take off his blind fold. He already knew the answer. He said, "Sir, I know I am wearing a red hat" The guard smiled and all the prisoners are set free. Why? If the first prisoner saw the other prisoners blue hats then he knows he's wearing a red hat because there are only 2 blue hats and 3 red hats. But he sees one guy wearing blue and one guy wearing red, so he says "I don't know." The second prisoner took off his blind fold and the same thoughts occur. If he saw the other prisoners wearing all 2 blue hats, then he knows he's wearing red. Instead, he sees one guy wearing a blue hat and the other guy wearing a red hat. So he says "I don't know" Now the third prisoner doesn't even need to take off his blind fold. Why? He heard the other prisoners saying they don't know, which led him to believe that all they saw was blue and red hats. That means if he takes of his blind fold he will see that both of the previous prisoners will be wearing blue hats and since there are only 2 blue hats available, he must be wearing a red hat.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's small, white, and it killed Bruce Lee? Aspirin.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a black man helping an old woman cross the road? A concerned citizen.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Dylan F is stupid He goes to his cousins house Then falls into a pit Moves on

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops