how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

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what did the stop sign say to the car? nothing.

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What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

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who would win in a gang battle? WEST COAST SWAG

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Why was the blonde confused? Because someone was dressed in a chicken costume throwing pinecones at her.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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So a Jew is walking on the street and he sees a penny, and he decides to pick it up because ever since the fire that killed his family and burned his house down he has been living on the street and he needs all the help he can get.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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What do you call a black man chasing after a macdonalds van? The fastest thing in the dessert.

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Study from real life: My trip to Texas. (From the time when I was interested in mormon-ism.) Texan: And here is my gun collection, great for shootin yer Mexican scum. Me: Uh I am Norwegian but my ancestors where Russian or something so my skin is... Texan: *points gun at me and pushes trigger halfways* Just kidding der son, sure you aint no Mexican though? Okay just checkin ya know... Me *sweating bullets* Texan guys gun go off almost hitting me and breaking a vase.. Conclusion: He blamed me, everyone had lunch outside later, everyone kept looking at the "trigger happy MEXICAN"... Nero: By then I began grasping the fact that I was better suited for the study of the dark arts... And also learned that in Mormonism, Heaven and Hell are planets locked into war, where black people where neutral, and red people are demon supporters, but WE CAN ALL BE SAVED BY BECOMING WHITE! JUST LIKE THE ANGEL MORONI! Conclusion two: Moroni... Lol.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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What do you do when you find a black man rolling around on the ground? Stop laughing and reload.

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What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Immobile.

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What's the difference between Elmo and Cookie Monster? One of them doesn't listen to Michelle Obama

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What are the similarites between Autistic people and dead people? They are both very poor in social situations

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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What's worse than the WNBA? The Cleveland Cavaliers.

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What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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How do you make a baby stop crying? You throw it out the window.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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