The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

Me: Wanna play a game of red light and as I get closer to you, you get to call red light?? girl: Yea! okay, go! girl: green light!! Me: Sorry, firetrucks don't stop for red lights

A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: To get to your house. A: Knock-knock B: Whose there? A: The chicken!

Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

Bill is driving along the Interstate.All the sudden, a refrigerator falls off the truck in front of him.The fridge slams into Bill's car.He dies instantly.

why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

2 penguins in a tub. one looks to the other an says, "pass the bar of soap." the other looks at him.."what do you think i am, a typewriter?"

Huffing glue only becomes a problem when you get stuck on it

If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

Why didn't the Mexican kid go to school? Because he was sick.

How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

And now a word from our sponsors

What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

Why did the black guy die... Herpees he didn't practice safe sex

So, you got to take medications daily or die? Are you in pain my dear?

What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

What do you call a hamburger with nothing inside of it? A virgin.

Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

Wanna hear a joke? It's here somewhere You looked :D There ain't jokes on Antijoke.com

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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