Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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What's brown and sticky A stick

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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Mike lost his arms in a car accident. Knock knock Who's there? Not Mike.

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Knock knock Who's there? Fuk Fuk who?

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

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A my dog was a rappa. He recorded a hit. But it had no lyrics, because he is a dog.

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Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

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What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he was applying for a job that's building was located on the other side of the street.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

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Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Jimmy -thatcooltyguy

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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