A duck walks into a bar and buys a drink. When the bartender comes up he says put it on my bill

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A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

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Simon says.. Nothing because he's deaf.

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A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy jump off a bridge. Who hits the ground first? It doesn't matter. They are all going to die.

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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Why did the chicken cross the road. He didn't, this joke gets old really fast

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

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Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

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What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

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Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die.

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Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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Q: What do you call a dog driving a car? A: A dog driving a car.

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on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

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Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

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Why was the iPhone screen cracked? Because it was dropped on a rock.

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,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

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knock knock who's there? the paperboy the paperboy who? i lied, i'm a serial rapist, you should have looked through the peephole

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Why did the chicken itch it's bum? Cause it's bum was itchy

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? Because she is enjoying the meal her husband has prepared for her after a long day at her second full-time job of the day

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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Q: What is tall, white, and shaped like a house? A: a tall white man, if you break his limbs and twist them into the rectangular shape of a house.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops