I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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roses are red violets are blue heres the oven now where the **** is the jew

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-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

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How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

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Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

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Why are women so obsessed with not having penises? I'm serious. Imagine an ordinary woman out there, who is not doing any of the activities that the women-not-having-penises thing is famous for. But I can pretty much guarantee that under her clothes at that very moment, she isn't having a penis. And for no good reason. Sometimes I suspect women keep up the no-penis thing even in their sleep. Frankly, I find that creepy. Why are women so obsessed with not having penises?

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? open the door and put him in.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

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Your mom says hi!.........Jinks!!!! yeah yeah yeah yeah yeaaaah.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Women's rights.

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Four turtles once fell into nuclear waste. They remained unnoticed and later died from exposure to radiation.

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What did the homeless black guy write on his sign? need money for weed.

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it was a black guy a white guy a chinese guy a french guy an arab guy an irish guy and a juncky that was too much for a joke

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What's worse than getting a apple and finding a worm in it. Getting hit in the face with a meteorite.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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