What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Brain fart

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call it when the Doctor goes back in time to meet himself? A pair o' Docs. What do you call it when Shaquille O'Neil goes back in time to meet himself? Shaquille O'Neil can't go back in time.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why is Megan Fox so hot? Because the air conditioning broke.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops