- Anti Joke

So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

How does a black man laugh? He schuckles

Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

What is worse than menopause? Falling down the stairs breaking your next....

Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

Did you see Helen Keller at the movie theater? I didn't either, she's dead.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Interrupting Doctor Interru--- You Have Cancer...

Whats the difference between a black man and a paraplegic? A paraplegic doesn't walk out on his family

Yo mama's so fat when they asked her if she wanted fries with that she said yes

Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

roses are blue violets are red and just like you they're messed up in the head

why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

Why did the black man have a gun in his hand? He was crossing through a dangerous neighborhood and was offering protection to himself and his family.

A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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