What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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What did the mother say to her child that was washing the dishes? "Sweep the floor."

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Eating a bagel, the man was overcome with disappointment, he thought that he had purchased a donut. He later hung himself.

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a cat gets mauled by a dog. it died later that day

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One time there was a man walking down the street. Wrong, it is physically impossible to walk down a street, you can only walk along it.

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Why wasn't the white guy voted for president? He had down syndrome

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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Moby Stick, the Great White Twig

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Your mama is so fat but she is also a very kind and friendly person so her weight doesn't bother me at all,

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Q:If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is here to hear it, will it make a noise A:That Philosopher probably had a lot of herbal tea in the morning

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

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toby limbers is gonna follow in his uncles footsteps, the gay ones

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What did Billy say to Timmy? Timmy! I'm so sorry. *Sniffles* I didn't mean to throw the fork that hard. Rest in peace Timmy...

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your mom was so fat that she died.

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What would an ice hockey player do if the ice melted? Walk off, as the ice is only 3/4 of an inch thick.

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and my cousins? Nothing.

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Why do black people have white palms? Genetics.

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one time someone wrote an anti-joke, hoping for lots of likes, which give one a sense of validation. nope.

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What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

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If a guy has a sex change what is the first thing he would say? Boobies!

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A bus with 12 black guys is driven off a cliff. What is the sad part of this story? ... Our beloved president was not involved.

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A man walks into a bar. He then takes a step back and notices that his head hurts.

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What's big, black, and just knocked an 8 year old girl off of her bike? The refrigerator I just threw at her. (not all are white you know)

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I gotta friend named Michael Nugyen and he dishonored his family. Did I mention he was asian ( he live in tampa fl )

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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