What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

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How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

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Why did the penis cross the road? Because a man was humping the chicken

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have cancer."

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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What do you call a black man at KFC? A customer.

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If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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awkward moment when someone pretends to be Mr. Bear and stuffs up his own joke

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why did the monkey fall? he got hit by a train

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Q: What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? A: Shoveling them out with a pitchfork.

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How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

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What did the girl say to her ex? Fuck you.

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

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69

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patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops