Man: I just bought this hearing aid Friend: How much did it cost Man: No it's 8 o'clock

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the hobo get for christmas? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's brown and red? I lied about the red, it's dirt.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +5

boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's better than winning a gold medal in the paralympics? Walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

anti jokes are really funny

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's upside down? umop apisdn

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

theres no I in Intelligence a.w. j.p.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

hat did the fridge say to the oven your hot baby \

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is Dave's baby dead? Because his wife threw it into the path a Big-rig.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did jasmine drop her shopping? And no its not because she did'nt have arms infact she did have arms she just did'nt have any hands

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops