roses are blue violets are blue everything is blue I'm sad now

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Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

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Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

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What is the difference between Switzerland and Sudan? One is in Europe the other is in Africa

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What did the man say after he was shot? Nothing, because the bullet hit the man with so much impact that he instantly died and was unable to talk at the current time. Others in the surrounding area walked by as if nothing was there.

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Do I ever ask yo a question that I havn't given you the answer to Mr Hearty.

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what is like a duck and quacks ? A duck.

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What is green, walks on four legs, and is capable of the strongest bite in the world? An alligator.

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a depressed looking giraffe. The man says, “Why the long neck?” The giraffe responds, “That’s not the expression.”

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Where was sally during the bombing? Everywhere!

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What did the rabbi say to the Muslim? I don't know I wasnt there. But it probably had something to do with their varying religions.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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A man walks into a bar He wakes up from his coma 21 years later and learns that humans now serve pumpkins as gods.

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What did the kid say when the doctor said he had cancer Oh No

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I'm so stupid that I'm posting on Anti Jokes!

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How come Tommy isn't allowed to sing anymore? Because he has a punctured artery, collapsed lung, fractured ribcage, and a failed organ...

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

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John's life hasn't been the same since committing suicide 13 years ago.

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Whats worse than getting hit in the face with an axe? Getting hit in the face with two axes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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