How do you make a baby stop crying? You throw it out the window.

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

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Who is a pussy ass bitch and is and has a chode? - Jeff Misner

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a white van was driving really slow and he stopped in front 3 children. "do you want some candy" the old man said. the kids took the candy and the old man drove away happily, knowing he made someones day.

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Who row's? •Liam Findlay

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Which of the following is the reason the Titanic sunk. Select all that apply. A. Iceberg B. No radar C. Late warning D. Put your hands on me Jack E. This ship can't sink F. Over by the bed, the couch G. God himself can't sink this ship Z. All the above X. None of the above Q. Why are you still reading

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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a chicken and a rooster walk into a bar. and then walk out because a bar is no place for a chicken and a rooster.

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Q:What happened when the bear walked into the bar? You cannot answer because you were seriously injured by the bear.

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Hitler walks in to pizza pizza, the manager asks how many? L

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A blonde, brunette, and red-head were on a deserted island. The blonde said, "in thirty years or so, we'll all have gray hair."

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you thought it gay unicorn

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why did the blond get and abortion? because she was forcefully raped by her 42 year old boy friend and felt she could not raise a child on her own.

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A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What did Rebecka black say on Thursday? Today is thursday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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