Why did the pencil break? A Viking destroyed it with his beard.

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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Whats 9 plus 10? 19

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How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS.

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In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

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What's 9+10? 19

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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whats white and sticky? a white stick

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

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Gawds Trololols: Jewsus: I die for ur Sins, now u are free! *argh* Gawd AD 3000: TIME TO DIE SINNERS! Jewsus: But I paid for humanity`s sins and am stuck in hell because of this and... Gawd: Meh just didnt really liek you TROLOLOL! Gawds Trololols 2 directors clit: Gawd: Jebus! (the third) I want you to trololol peeps now! GO! Jebus: As you see people, I have died for you in order to prove that I am immortal! Peeps: Uh, wow? Jebus: TROLOLOL! So dad, when am I gonna get back to earth again, I kinda promised my boyfriends/apostles that there would be a second cumming as you told me to do, and people have been waiting for over twothousand and fourtee... Gawd: Never! Trolololol! Moral: "Would you trust a being whose veins are loaded with alcohol?" Jesus 2: The second coming: In cincemas never!

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Oh you're dating my ex? Do you want my unfinished sandwhich too? And my old shoes? And a couple of my shirts I don't wear anymore? How about a my toys I used to play with? Or my spoiled pickle that's been in my car for about a year and a half after I went to the mall with my friends, we watched a movie, I don't remember which one it was but it was funny, then after that we went to McDonald's and it was the first time I heard of McGangbang and it was pretty good. After that I think we went to Jerry's cousin's house, he was a cool guy until I found out that he likes Tyga, so I ended up never talking to him again.... I went off topic, sorry

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a guy walks into a bar. he suffered a severe concussion. BECAUSE THE BAR A POLE

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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Why did the Indian cross the road? Trail of Tears.

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How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

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Why isn't Juley at school today? Oh Her father chopped off her arms and legs, gagged her, ripped out both eyes and threw her in a lake tied to cinderblocks!

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what did eric foreman get for christmas? a foot in his ass.

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Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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