Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

How many immature teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Your Mum.

Why are Asians yellow? Because that is their natural skin color

roses are red, violets are blue, get on your knees ho, and stick to me like glue.

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

womens rights

On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

What do you do i a stranger offers you candy? Make sure its not stale then jump in his van.

A man said to another man," you are so stupid you climbed a glass wall to see what was on the other side." The second man said," well you were on this side of the wall and I'm going to kick your ass." The second man had been drinking that night.

Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

13 =B you just learned something

What rude names do you call a girl with no limbs? Anything you want they can't touch you

Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

What do you call a kid that hasnt passes 7th grade? A 6th grader

Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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