Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

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How old is victor? Half past dead

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

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alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

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what's the only thing funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? The look on the mom's face.

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What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

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What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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How do you kill a blonde? You stab her many times in the ear with a fork......Then finsih her off with a spoon. No knives those hurts

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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What's brown an sticky Shit

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why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Parents who drive with children on their lap should be wrapped with a huge diapper

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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