Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

cool

thumb_up thumb_down -52

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

thumb_up thumb_down +29

I hate it when people dont finish there sen

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

thumb_up thumb_down +27

WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

blargen fa-diddle nachen!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops