How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

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Your mother is so fat; I love fat fat people.

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Why does Michael J. Fox always have his martinis shaken? He thinks they taste better that way.

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Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

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Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

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What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Whatever their names happen to be.

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A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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There was a 4-car accident in Mexico today. 87 people died.

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what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

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Why did the sky turn gray? Yes because she thought it meant a quarterback.

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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I know what you do with your right hand. You part-take in everyday activities such as eating, typing, grooming and maneuvering.

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What would Hellen Keller say to Obama? Nothing she can't speak.

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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What did the boy reading a book do? He finished the book and took it back to library.

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Snape dies. ^ Spoiler Alert tarelona major

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Wanna hear a clean joke? A little boy took a bath with Bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the name of the man.

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What do you say to a black man in the morning? Good morning

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops