Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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he took my chicken i shoot him in the foot and raped his dog

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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What's red and can sing? Elmo

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

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What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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What does "Fiat" stand for? "Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino."

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

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Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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