How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven. By darragh Hamilton

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What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

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(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

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What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

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How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

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A man asks his friend "what's black, blue, and red all over?" He repiles, "Nothing, because I'm colorblind."

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Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

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What did the Chinese man say to the black man? I'm Part of my Asian herritage.

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Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because without the aid of various ligaments and muscles that would be attached to the average human being's skeleton, he was not able to move himself so much as an inch.

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I heard a scary rumor that when you plzy a windows istaller cd backwards, it plays a secret message, but what's even scarier, is that when you play it forwards, it installs windows.

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You wanna pop a bottle? I hope you are referring to bottles of water as I am underage and I refuse to partake in any said consumption of alcoholic beverages

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Hickory Dickory Dock, your mother is a whore

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In a nerd wedding they don't say "i do" They say "i accept the terms and conditions"

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FUCK YOU

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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alert('The Game')

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What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

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whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? - The boy scout comes home from camp.

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This is a joke about Helen Keller. "Knock knock" "Who's there?

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Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

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Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

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what happened to the man that got shot.... He died.. 3 secs after

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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