Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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Knock knock Who's there? Cow Cow who? If you really think about it, it's really now

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Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

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whats the difference between a baby and a puppy? i care when the puppy dies....

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? A lot.

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Why did the welshman cross the road? To violently hump sheep.

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Knock Knock Whos there? You You Who? Who You Oh im Jim.

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What did the Jewish kid get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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What do Jay Williams, Lebron James, Candace Parker and Maya Moore have in common? They were all winners of the Morgan Wootten Player of the Year Award.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

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The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

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Roses are red, Metal is gray, Justin Beiber, is very gay

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What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

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Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

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Why did the feminist complain? that's what they do

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what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

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what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

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Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

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Did you hear about the Nun in the Twin Towers? Yeah, she died too

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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Tod:Hey Rick wanna hear a joke?Rick:No.

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Why didn't Santa deliver presents until the night after Christmas? You should go ask someone who knows.

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Why did old Mary fall off the cliff? There were no brakes on her wheelchair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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