What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Nothing. I killed them both with a fire axe and proceeded to kill all the patients in the hospital.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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Q: What did the horse say to the other horse? A: Nothing, Horses are incapable of making verbal communication therefore they cant speak to each other.

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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Why did the man walk into a bar? Coz he felt like it.

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How do you make a health inspector give you a good report? Throw his family into a pack of alligators.

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who's a knob,a liar, and systematically ruining a once well-run family football club by employing crooks , buying footballers who are well-passed there sell-out date and getting the team relegated ? steve kean not laughing ? nor are 23 ,000 others

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

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whats your name whats the color of the sky whats the oppisite of down

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Roses are red, Here's something new. Violets are violet, Not f***ing blue.

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What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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What do you call a woman in the kitchen? Her name.

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Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

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don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

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Cyrus: Can you dig it?! Phil: I can feel it calling in the air tonite……..oh lord

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An anti-joke

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What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

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Hey dude when is 4th of July? I don't know.

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WHat did the Somalian girl get for Christmas? AIDS

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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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