Why is the baby on fire? Because there was a gas leak at the day care facility. It would have been a terrible tragedy had a heroic babysitter not come to the rescue.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to take three harpoons to the chest and still manage to feast on a family of baby seals...... Hi my name is Joey

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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Boy: Mother, I'm dying! Mother: Ha, lol, I put poison in your cheese! Boy: MOTHER! Boy: *dies*. Mother: Ha, lol!

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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Q.How do you get a dog to meow ? A. Put the dog in the freezer overnight . . Get a chainsaw and run it along his back in the morning . " Meowrrrr..."

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Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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What did the man say to the tree? Nothing, he was a mime.

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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Q:What did the midget say to the toll booth operator? A: Is your family dead too?

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For Chuck Norris every street is one way his way.

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What's sad about four children going over a cliff in a car ? Four children just went over a cliff in a car.

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown how angry are you?

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What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops