so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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what do you call a brown man that has been repeatedly shanked and has been fucked up the arse by 10 Rag heads in one night and thrown in a well to slowly and painfully die? Lloyd.

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What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

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How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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Q: What is soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

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Your mother is so fat, she appeals to my secret fetish.

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Nothing. I killed them both with a fire axe and proceeded to kill all the patients in the hospital.

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that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

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What's red and black and looks good on a Jew? A bullet wound.

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knock knock. who's there? 9/11

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple but the elephant is gray.

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why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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" Whats the deal with airline food? " -Sharon

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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Q: What did the horse say to the other horse? A: Nothing, Horses are incapable of making verbal communication therefore they cant speak to each other.

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How do you make a health inspector give you a good report? Throw his family into a pack of alligators.

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Why did the man walk into a bar? Coz he felt like it.

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95556

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what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

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Q: What's worse than finding a shrimp platter on a babys hand. A: A baby's hand on a shrimp platter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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