A frog jumped on the lilly pad, it sank and drown and all of the tadpoles didn't have a mother and inevitably died

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Your mom's house is so old, that she has rats and other various critters such as spiders, gnats, and mosquitoes.

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Balls

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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haha black people :D

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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how do u wake up lady gaga? poke her face

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 397, IF you have a big tounge

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Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

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your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

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Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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The last person on Earth is sitting home alone when suddenly there is a knock at the door. Knock knock Who's there? *silence* Damn this joke got creepy...

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

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why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

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What did the three year old say when he dropped his milk? Shitting buggery!

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Q: What did the boy do when his mom asked him to put away his clothes? A: Yes. PS: If that wasn't funny to you, then go f**k off. You clearly don't have any sence of humor and you should see someone about that, like a mental health doctor.

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What do a reindeer and a grape have in common? They are both purple, except for the reindeer.

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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Why was it raining lobsters? Because they ran out of men. Why did the basketball player miss the net? Because he was hit by a lobster

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had completed its task on the aforementioned other side and was returning back to the coop for a feeding now that the sun had set.

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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