- Anti Joke

What is white, average height and cannot jump as high as a black man? A fridge.

Q: you wanna hear a joke? A: yeah sure. Q: well im not gnna.

whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

Yo mama's so fat that when she went to go get an x-ray, they had to use the one they have at the zoo.

Teddy- Last Thursday, A nice man named teddy was laid off at his local police department. Teddy was depressed, and mad at himself for his own failure. Teddy went to the library and found a book on Suicide. The librarian asked if he had his library card. He said yes, and presented it. The librarian scanned the card and checked out his book. Teddy went to his home and read a few chapters in his book, he found it useful. He then traveled to a firearms store and purchased a handgun. The clerk said that there was a sale on 40 count packages of the bullets he was buying. He said no thank you; I will only need one bullet. Teddy paid and went on his way home to find some peace. He did not find it………………… Because there was an annoying mocking bird outside his window. Teddy knew of this, and used his new weapon to shoot the bird. He only needed the one bullet because he was an ex-police officer, and had good aim. Teddy then used his new found knowledge on the topic of suicide, and wrote a remarkably well written article for a magazine he had interviewed for. Teddy knew that the prompt (suicide in the United States today) was very challenging, and he was compelled to hear how well he had done. The article landed him a new job as a writer for the magazine. On Friday, Teddy started his new job, and was delighted to learn that his new office was complete with a window that over looked the whole town. What a view, he remarked. He then threw himself out the eight story window, and landed on a homeless blind man. The homeless blind man had a coat full of newspapers to keep him warm in the winter time. And the padding suppressed the lethality of Teddy’s fall. He remarked how ironic it was that the homeless person‘s warm coat would never keep him warm again. Teddy laughed, and continued on with his fulfilling day until the police arrested him at 5:13 in the afternoon. He was a dashingly handsome toaster that supplied the town with lots of warm bread. So the police released him. And teddy and the Hooker lived happily ever after. Saturday, Teddy’s relationship with the hooker began falling apart. He was drinking now, and every now and then he came home a little too drunk. He beat and raped her………….. And nine months later they had a beautiful baby boy named Sam. They nurtured Sam till the ripe old age of 16. (Unfortunately, nurture for Teddy meant more rape and beating) For Sam’s 16th birthday, he was lead to the basement for a surprise party, where he was tripped into a wood chipper and ground into a fine pulp. Teddy added a blend of chili powder and sour cream. The hooker suggested that he should add some pickled jalapeño juice, but Teddy argued that it would be too spicy and ruin the chili. But the banana commented that he could add extra sour cream if the spice was to over whelming. Teddy trusted bananas, and added the pickled jalapeño juice. He then entered the chili in the local chili bowl competition and won second place. He was once again disappointed in his work, and went on a rampage killing all the bananas that ever betrayed him. Despite his good looks and practical use, Teddy had to face the continuances of his actions. He was discharged from his position at the local police department. Sunday, Damn, thought Teddy, the library’s closed on Sunday. The End

Your mother is so fat. We are all extremely concerned for her health.

get it right up there, says jacob while with danni

What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

Twinkle twinke little star How I wonder what you are? Star: (Noun) A fixed luminous point in the night sky that is a large, remote incandescent body like the sun.

Q:Where was The Declaration of Independence signed? A: At the bottom

Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

What do you call a boy with no arms or legs Mat

How did the blond know that you like her? You said,"Baby, I like you"

Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

Your mom's house is so old, that she has rats and other various critters such as spiders, gnats, and mosquitoes.

Why was 2 afraid of three Because it bigger

how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

A black, white, Asian, and Mexican are walking down the street. This is showing a good diverse community.

A giant foot comes over the town and a man says "theres something big afoot" hahahahahahaha

A dog walks into a bar and succumbs to heartworm.

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew. The pizza doesn't scream in the fire

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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