How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

Q: What did blue say to red? A: Let's make some purple

why did Susie fall of the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who`s there? not Susie

How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

Whats worse than the Holocaust? A second one

what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

i hate non minorities!

Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

A young baby died.

Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because the The husband told her to...

Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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