why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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Why did one sausage become scared of the other sausage? The first Sausage said " Hello " and the second Sausage said " OMG a talking sausage!!!" ...Jk sausages dont talk.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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Q: What's the upside to your otherwise miserable life? A: You only got raped twice last week.

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How do you make a baby not cry? Do not throw a brick at it. ANTI-JOKE

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My dog barks when someones at the door.

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Whats the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? You can't unload one with a pitchfork

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What building has the most stories? The Burj Khalifa.

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One early Christmas morning i went downstairs. My mother told me that she had gotten me the ultimate stocking stuffer. It was a foot

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If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

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What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

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your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

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Yo mommas so dumb she took an IQ test and scored low on it

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Roses are purple violets are green I am color blind shut up

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Why don't dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs? They're all dead.

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

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Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

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Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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