What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sky diving? I don't know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

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A man goes to the potty.

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one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? a terrorist dropped a bomb on him which turned into a transformer, raped him and then burried him inside of his refridgerator

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why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

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What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

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Why were you in an igloo? I don't know, why were you?

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If boobs are round. And so are balls. Then i just cant figure out why the sky is blue?

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

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One day there was 2 black guys in hoodys with knives in there hand. They tapped me on the shoulder and took my groceries. They then made me a jam sandwich and went on there way

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday just dance 3

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what did batman say to robyn before he got in the car?... "get in the car"

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Neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. It never receives it because it can't talk and is far too small to see.

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Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey! Got any grapes?" The man then realized he was hallucinating because ducks are unable to speak proper english.

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What do boats and starving children have in common? They both float, except for the starving children.

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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a black man, a Jew, a Chinese man and a polar bear walk into a bar, the bar tender says sorry no animals allowed in the bar, so the polar bear left and the other three ordered some drinks and had a nice time

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Why was Timmy so unpopular at school? Because he caught aids of his pet rock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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