What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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Q - What is worse than a nerdy joke on anti-jokes with a lot of big words in it? A - Although I get scared when i see big words, the page long jokes are probably worse

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How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously more than six because my bass meant is still dark.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didnt it got hit by a bus.

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A- 2 jews walk in a bar..what happed? B- they died 35 years later from skin cancer

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what did the man say to his cat? sex. -teagan doherty

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What do Barbra Streisand and Danny Glover have in common? Nothing.

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Why was Reed sad? His mother has a penis

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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person 1: i have a good knock knock joke person 2: ok what is it? person 1: say knock knock! person 2: knock knock person 1: trollollollollollollo

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what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

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what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

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Whats the difference between a black man and a picnic table? Alot of things

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

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A class of kids were bouncing basketballs in class and a woman teacher comes in and says,"No balls in the classroom please." All the boys leave the class.

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Everybody has a penis! EVERY BODY! WHY can't feminists admit this obvious anatomical fact? Gahhhh!

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A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

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A black man and a mexican jump off a building at the same time, who lands first? Who cares?

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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What did the Chinese man do with the sick dog he found in the alleyway? He took it to the vet, nursed it back to health, and later helped the dog get adopted by a nice family down the street.

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My grandma once told me " never trust the blacks"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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