My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

chuck norris and superman had a bet. Chuck norris immediatley won because superman is a fictional character played by an actor. Chuck norris then decided to have a bet with the actor that played superman and lost

A dog says to a horse "Hey, why the long face?" the horse just looks at him.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

"Knock knock," said the guy about to deliver a knock knock joke.

hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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