What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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Hello

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

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Why was the black man picking cotton? Because he was in an area where slavery is a socially and morally accepted practice.

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What worse than a baby nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

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Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

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What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

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What rhymes with milk...milf

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"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None they would just beat the room for being black.

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What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

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how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

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A Muslim walks into a public library. 32 people killed in the explosion.

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What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

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What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

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I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

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What did the spider say to the lobster? Nothing, they are enemies and don't live in the same habitat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops