What happens when you cut down a tree? It falls down.

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I read my Uncle an anti-joke. He is still wondering why it made no sense to him.

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A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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What's worse than opening your pantry door and finding nothing desirable to eat? Repeated high voltage electrical shocks to the anus.

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

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What's worse than the Holocost? Two worms in your apple.

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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What's funnier than 24? 9/11

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That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

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Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

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How do you confuse a chicken? Paint yourself black and throw seeds at it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Exercise

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Women. Can't live with them. Can't systemically murder them without compromising the reproductive integrity of the species.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

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What is yellow and fluffy? Green fluff, I lied about the yellow part.

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A black man, a white man, and an Asian man walk into a bar. The black man says, "My wife died in a terrible book-keeping accident.". The white man says, "My wife died in a terrible lightbulb-sorting accident.". The Asian says, "My wife died in a terrible geography accident.". Soon after, the bar was hit by a missile, promptly killing the three men.

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Your wife died during the delivery.

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Yo mamma is so skinny, she has developed anorexia, a serious eating disorder, which not only affects her, but also the ones that she loves and cares about.

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Why didn't Jacob marry Bella from Twilight? You have to be real to marry someone

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "why the long face?" The horse replies, "I am Sarah Jessica Parker."

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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Q: What is tall, white, and shaped like a house? A: a tall white man, if you break his limbs and twist them into the rectangular shape of a house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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