Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped from his farm and didn't understand the laws of jaywalking.

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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Why are Pine trees green? Because light reflects at different wavelengths, and the chlorophyll, found in chloroplasts, being abundant in the needles of pine trees, Reflect the correct wavelength for green.

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What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

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Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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Why was Timmy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

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What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

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How did the Mexican get into the united States of America? He was an american citizen, just of mexican descent.

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What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

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A man walks into a bar, he sits down.

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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why did the guy round second base? to get to 3rd

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

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How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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What do you call Anne Franks life? A big game of hide and go seek.

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Q. What did the Cat say to the Dog? A. "These humans are so jobless.."

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What's funnier than 24? 9/11

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an man of hispanic descent ran into a pole his white friends proceeded to laugh at him not because he was in pain, but because he was different

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

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In Soviet Russia it's pretty cold.

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Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops