How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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i need a pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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THE LOVE SHACK IS A LITTLE OLD PLACE WHERE WE CAN GET TOGETHER!

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Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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-Doctor! Scientists in California have enough proofs to demonstrate that the Christian religion is false. -Oh my God!

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't.

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Q: What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? A: I don't know; I was too busy trying to find my camera.

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Its true... Chuck Norris has no hair on his balls. Because hair doesnt grow on steel.

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What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

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what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was raped when i was little.

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Why did the dish run away from the spoon? None of them ran neither one has legs

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How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops