What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Killing your friend as a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

im 14, over weight and spotty! you interested? .... im desperate:)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops