Q:What's the difference between a lake? A: a tree, because motorcycles dont have doors... :) crf

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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Have you heard of the Armenian genocide? No? Me neither.

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Why did the cop stop a black guy with a Rolls-Royce? Because he was speeding while on his phone and going through red traffic lights.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

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Why did everyone die in the world? Its 2012.

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

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why was the boys t.v broken? because he through it out the window

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

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If your canoe is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon. False, snakes don't have armpits

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Why are some people so barbaric? Because some people are German.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Well you can't because you are reading this

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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Why can't Osama bin Laden make anymore terrorist attacks? He's dead.

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what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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what are you talking about. Nets are terrible. Lakers are going to be the best.

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Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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