Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

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Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

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Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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how many jews does it take to fit in a mid-size sedan? -5 comfortably.

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how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

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these jokes are not funny but there funny because there not funny aaaaaaaa pissing me off

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How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

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A man begged for forgiveness, for a sin commited Jesus forgave him, Jesus loves you

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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Nothing is as strong as love, Except a nuclear warhead that can destroy entire cities! :P thoko like :D ~~k0mradey``

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Why did the black man grab and tie up the white woman? Because the white woman was a serial killer who has been on the FBI's most wanted list for killing children.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones, But words can leave deep psychological wounds that may never heal.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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whats small and blue? a suffocated baby

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops