Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

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Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

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Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

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What's big, white, and kills niiggers? Hurricane sandy

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What's an AntiJoke? A joke that has no comical value.

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We are not even in the same country, and my eye becomes infected two times a minute or something so I wont be going anywhere. I mean, if you are some guy trying to be a girl in order to screw with me, let me first of all thank you for our exchange of ideas and concepts, and then say that if you are a guy, that likes other guys, then... Well, lets just say that if you are a man, that I don`t speak with men in general, takes away time I can spend with the ladies.

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person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

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Q:How do you confuse a blonde preschooler? A:Calculus.

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Actually it was me Josh brown

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How many holes can you poke in my chest, When my chest is by far the best If you believe you can stab Then then grab a knife...that you can grab Skewer my breast Which lies on the best chest And you will discover A man under your covers Yes, keep on pokin' Poke my chest with the knife you are strokin' And then swallow a chode because you are stupid.

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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Three men walk into a bar, one ducks and two fall down. What happened? They walked into a metal bar, like a sideways flagpole!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was at a crosswalk and had the right of way to on coming traffic

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Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

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Three penguins sitting in a tub. The first penguin says to the third penguin, "Hey would you pass the soap?" The penguin in the middle says, "What do you think I am a typewriter?"

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I'm attracted to you like the earth is attracted to the sun. With a force that is inversely proportional to the distance squared.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

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What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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