What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

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What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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Cripples are lame.

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You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

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What did the boob say to the bra? sup bra

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings. Now hats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Three bee stings.

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Why is the chicken dead? It tried to cross the road.

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Why didn't Tyron run from the police? He had no legs.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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