Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A:Whats the air speed velocity of a swallow? B:What an african or English swallow? A:Well I don't know that.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock-Knock Whos there? You You who? Yoohoo! is anybody home?!! Well obviously or i wouldn't have talked to you. Idiots these days!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do Ping-Pong and Godzilla have in common? Both of them have nothing to do with budhism.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the rock say to the tree. It didn't say anything, rocks don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Mr. Moseley choose to not buy crest toothpaste this month? Because your daughter got an abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How did the black guy survive the bus crash? At the time of the bus crash, it was a segregated community, therefore no black people were allowed on buses.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A blonde walks into a bar. She enjoys a refreshing, cold beverage with friends before returning home to sleep ahead of another day of hard work as a scientist.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats the difference between a monkey and another monkey? I dont know google it!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats worse than finding a maggot in your apple? Getting Raped

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A gay man kisses a gay man and therefore is considered gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What would you call the flinstones if they were black? Ni**gers

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your mother is so fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the best way to piss off a feminist? R@pe her.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychological disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops